Chapter 230: lost

I am;
Lost
Confused
Doubtful
Undecisive
Fearful
Of what should be done next
Of what God has planned my future
Of the path that should be taken.

I remain;
Wary of my decisions
Cautious on how things are
Loveless till enlightened
As I know I will make another stupid mistake
As I know I will break someone heart again
As I know I would want it to be my last love.

Never did I want it to happen again but it did today. I broke a heart...again. I told myself not to shed a tear but it just flows down. I flawed myself...again and again.

Should I go on a vow like how nuns do to not fall in love with man & stay single forever? So no heartbreaks again.

My love life has been cruel on me since I know what love meant.
My love life has never been simple.
My love life has been finding the wrong reasons.
My love life I can't find any destination to it.

I shall stay quiet & succumb to the pain like how I used to.
Staying numb....again.

posted from Bloggeroid